Crowder's Commentary

No offense to my friends James and Megan Kirkpatrick, but what is up with Gwinnett Co. Georgia? Fo those of you who aren't up to par on this wonderful place, they recently removed a budget for Spanish-English books from the library. Why you ask? Well some residents didn't want to pay for books that illegal aliens might be reading. Heaven forbid they be able to read English.

It shouldn't be surprising that racial statements still survive in the south. The decision was quickly reversed. The new war is against Harry Potter. There must be a fanatical religious group down there. Harry has overstepped his bounds by being a witch. This apparently goes against God's will. The whole water to wine and bread thing should be overlooked I guess. What took these people so long to realize there were witches in the books? Where have they been? Can we send them back?

One person at the hearing pointed out that you would also have to get rid of "Macbeth" and "Cinderella". Well perhaps not "Cinderella", that was only a fairy godmother. These misfits of the supernatural are probably not in the same class as witches.

I was accidentally led to a church. Therein was a session where they also condoned the Harry Potter books. While waiting for lunch, the person I went with said "wasn't that a great sermon"? I replied "yeah, the Nazis condoned book burning too"? We didn't talk much after that.

This morning I was on my way back from the Gym at 7:30. The streets are crowded with people rushing to work and children going to school. It is what one expects to find in the morning. I'm in a rush as well. Work starts in an hour and I need a shower.

There is a road that I take that is timed at 38-40 mph. The posted limit is 45, however the slower speed assures that all lights for 3 miles are green. Today there were a few cars stopped at a major intersection becasue they weren't as savvy to this as I. The light turned green and they sat there. And sat. I looked up to see a car going North, I'm heading East, waiting to make a left turn. The West bound traffic is now through the intersection, and I'm moving as well.

In the white Ford Explorer is a Blonde Woman talking on the cell phone. She must have broken down, I think. She should have her hazzards on and help notify traffic, no wait that is a guy thing. Passing through the intersection, I see her put the car in reverse never releasing the phone.

What phone call is so important that you forget you are making a left turn? I don't know who this waste of animate matter was, but I say put her up against the wall with the Lawyers when the Revolution comes. Even better if she is a lawyer.

Ummm where is the end of life as we know it? Where are the 15+ hurricanes that would eliminate life in the Gulf of Mexico? Where is the blistering drought? I will conceede that the ice caps are melting, and to that I can see the effects. However out here in So. Cal. the Summers seem to have been milder than in the past. 2005 saw the second largest rainfall on record.

The National Hurricane center has only 4 hurricanes on record this year. Last year we had 15. Granted the season still has 2 months to go, but it isn't looking good to even come close. What about the models that predict a quick cooling of the earth after the polar caps melt? What about the fact that it happened before without us being here? I just saw a Discovery Channel show on the mini-ice age that lasted for a couple hundred years in the 1600 and 1700s. Could what we are experiencing be a rebound to that?

Don't get me wrong, I'm all for cleaner air. Since I was a child here in the Inland Empire, which is only inland not an empire, the air quality is much better. I applaud the fact that I can see the mountains half of the year. I'm puzzeled that now the greenhouse gasses are so great. Does that mean that when we had more Smog, we had less environmental damage? They keep talking about going back to old levels.

Speaking of greenhouse gasses. The scientist who got us all to save the ozone hole, now has a new badge on her shoulder. It appears that in the wisdom that stopped us using aerosol cans, charcoal lighter, and a host of other things, caused an increase in greenhouse gasses. Perhaps we just helped close the hole that was letting those gasses out?

I also wish that the media could get it right. This all started last night when ABC World News aired a piece on the subject. They talked about some Dr. nammed Twitty that discussed the Apocolypse that was comming if we don't stop what we are doing. The whole time they talked about a 2 degree increase world wide. My question is, is that Celcius as most predictions are or Farenheit? Not that the masses of Americans would understand. Now when the summer temp goes from 91 to 94 they all can scream that Global Warming is here. They will flock to the churches and pray. They will also crank up the air, turn on the T.V., do the laundry, all while staying inside to avoid the impending disaster.

The soon to be the also ran candidate for California Govenor, Phil Angelides has thrown all of his weight to the left. Phil is currently 10 -15 % the Govenator depending on which poll you look at. This is amazing in a state that is bursting at the seams with Democrats. The Govenator has a less than 50% approval rating. How then is he beating out Phil?

That is the question on 15 person, non media covered events that he attends. In a new twist to garner the votes of those who should already be on his side, he has gone after the Iraq War. He is now an open opponent to what is happening in Iraq. In a move that is sure to be of interest to the Democratic party as a whole, he is vowing to sue the Government. He wants all of the National Guard home and he wants to sue for damages.

Ummm, perhaps he didn't grow up with a full comprehension of the word National? Admitedly there is an implication in the name that the Guard is to be a Home Defense unit. Perhaps he missed the fact that the president can send 200,000 troops anywhere he wants without an act of Congress? However desperate times call for desperate measures. The Govenator keeps getting media coverage with Liberals like George Clooney. It appears that Phil is only hanging with the seat fillers from a temp agency. When the major news channels can't be bothered getting footage of you, it is pretty sad.

This was just what a Friday needs.


Subject: You think you have had a bad day? Are you having a jellyfish bad day?
This is funnier when you realize it's real! Next time you have a bad day at work .. think of this guy:Rob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana. He performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs. Below is an E-mail he sent to his sister. She then sent it to radio station 103.2 On FM dial in Ft. Wayne, Indiana, who was sponsoring a worst job Experience contest.
Needless to say, she won.
Hi Sue,Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother. Last week I had a bad day at the office. I know you've been feeling down lately at work, so I thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you realize it's not so bad after all. Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore you with a few technicalities of my job.
As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the sea. I wear a suit to the office. It's a wet suit. This time of year the water is quite cool.
So what we do to keep warm is this: We have a diesel powered industrial water heater. This $20,000 piece of equipment sucks the water out of the sea.
It heats it to a delightful temperature. It then pumps it down to the diver through a garden hose, which is taped to the air hose. Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and I've used it several times with no complaints.
What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working, is take the hose and stuff it down the back of my wet suit. This floods my whole suit with warm water. It's like working in a Jacuzzi.
Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my butt started to itch. So, of course, I scratched it. This only made things worse.
Within a few seconds my butt started to burn. I pulled the hose out from my back, but the damage was done. In agony I realized what had happened. The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my suit. Now, since I don't have any hair on my back, the jellyfish couldn't stick to it. However, the crack of my butt was not as fortunate.
When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the jellyfish into the crack of my butt. I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator. His instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along with five other divers, were all laughing hysterically. Needless to say I aborted the dive. I was instructed to make three agonizing in-water decompression stops totaling thirty-five minutes before I could reach the surface to begin my chamber dry decompression.
When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass helmet. As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of laughter running down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it on my butt as soon as I got in the chamber. The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't crap for two days because my butt was swollen shut.
So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think about how much worse it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your butt. Now repeat to yourself, "I love my job, I love my job, I love my job."
Now whenever you have a bad day, ask yourself, is this a jellyfish bad day? May you NEVER have a jelly fish bad day

This guy is funny and terrifying all at the same time. I just have to wonder why we don't use some of his tactics against him? How would he feel is we suddenly demanded to have a 51% stake in Citgo? We could set our own prices, and the Government would get the profits. I'm sure there are a few worthy causes that could benefit from that infusion of cash.

At the U.N. he stated that Geroge Bush is the Devil. Apparently this guy failed his New Testament courses. Hugo you need to go back to Sunday School. I'm not a religious person, but I have watched the Discovery Channel on Biblical and Apocalyptic issues. It clearly states that the Anti-Christ will be loved and adored by the masses. Nobody likes Bush. Well certainly not the masses. I'd wager that more people like Hugo. Perhaps his espousing is a way to divert attention from his true Anti-Christ ways.

Hi all, I'm back. Sorry for the absence.

As much as I make attempts to support our current political climate I have seen the path that was missed in Iraq. We simply should have waited until Saddam was out of town. Many of you know that I had the pleasure to be in Thailand for a week at the beginning of the year. The Thai people are more pleasant than and employee at Disneyland. There is a constant air of wonder and tranquility there.

It therefore comes as a happy discovery that the recent coup was bloodless. What else would you expect from a country that is something like 95% Buddhist. Aside from the political aspect, it was probably the larges military event in years. They were more showing off their Vietnam era weapons harking back to when the U.S. still made good vehicles.

What I love is that the Prime Minister was in the nearly defunct U.N. when it all happened. The military surrounded the government house and threw everyone out. The General then went to the King and pledged allegience to him. Later the king agreed that the General was right and accepted his new rule.

The moral of this story is; if you want someone out of power, wait for him to go away, then move in.

GO THAILAND

I'm fed up with advertising invading my meal choices. When small mom and pop places did it in the past, it was kinda cute. You could argue that it was needed in order to offset their costs. With the advent of the laser printer though. I can't understand it. These tri-fold menus are obviously not printed professionally.

The most offensive are the menus at Cheesecake Factory. Is there any logic that this company needs to have advertising for others filling up an already monstrous menu selection. I can see that it was hip back in the 80s and 90s. While I worked at Activision, I thought it sick and twisted that they left the add with Ron Goldman in after he was killed. Someone needs to tell them that it is time to stop. This goes for movie theater ads as well, but that is another rant.

There is one funny thing that occurs occasionaly. Often times the smaller establishments print cupons in their ads. Ok there is some redeeming grace for me there. However, why do they laminate the menu?

Happy Dining.